Crimson Regrets
by OrangeWolf4
Summary: Nightwing still feels a large amount of guilt after the plan with Artemis and Kaldur goving undercover. What happens when his best friend voices out all of his greatest regrets to him?


The team could never forgive me for what I have done. Granted, I think I did the right thing but I also thought that for Failsafe. Wally's shouts of disapproval struck me the hardest he is or was my best friend ever since I started being a hero. The look in his emerald eyes showing deep amounts of pooling anger and fear made me hate myself so much being I caused that. I do not think he even likes me anymore, and frankly, I understand. My friends are what I live for and I would die instantly for them.

Perhaps, I am living an illusion an illusion made to become Batman. I tried to keep my friends and teammates going but in the end, it was for the sake of the mission. I look down to the empty abyss of Bludhaven's streets. I close my eyes breathing deeply as my mind wonders reliving the madness of distrust held against me. I can still hear them all each sentence stabbing my mind stronger and deeper making my own appearance distorted within myself.

Breathing deeper knowing the outcome will have to face the team sooner or later.

I feel as if I am creating a hole for myself to fall into.

Falling...

Something I was so afraid of thinking it leads to the death of someone, but what I failed to realize is falling can also break the mind like it does bones to the ground. I step away from the edge of the tall building flipping down to the ground below with precision. Eying a group of low-thugs I take out my escrima sticks charging them blue. The snow from the dark navy sky is falling like powdered sugar in a sifter.

"Run!" One of them yells as the blue sparks of electricity falls into the obscure darkness. My eyes narrow as a few punches and they were seeing sparks.

"I am worried about Artemis, terrified for her, you put her right into his hands!" The words Wally screamed from when Artemis was undercover echoed in my mind.

My back arches as I feel a sharp white pain in the middle of my spine. I stumble as my eyes go black for a second after I ripped the piercing item out. I hold it in front of me as my world shakes looking at the deadly looking dagger.

Stabbed in the back how ironic.

My eyes peer into the dark as I throw a wing-ding at the metal balcony above me as another thug falls to the ground unconscious as he hit his head on the dumpster. Blood seeps from the wound in crimson-colored droplets shining in the moonlight. The kevlar of my uniform seems to be staunching the blood flow for now as I wrap the thugs up calling some of the few non-malevolent cops here.

Hoping they would come soon I grapple up to the building as the pain strikes harder as I stumble some more on top of the building.

"Come on Grayson!" I mutter yelling at myself as I continue on to my apartment. Looking at a Zeta Tube below I question if I should go to the new hide-out for the team.

"No, I am not wanted there." I mutter again only softer as my vision gets darker. Come on I am almost to my apartment. I groan as I fall to a kneel maybe, Roy.

No, he has a family now he needs to be with Jade and Lian.

Bruce kicked me out after we had another fight when I was in Gotham I am sure Alfred lectured him though.

Wally would absolutely kill me if I call him or if I reached out to his lover.

Aqualad is dealing with his own problems with doubts from everyone even in Atlantis.

Conner could help but he lives in the hideout still.

M'gann I do not think would be very grateful to see me right now and would probably turn my brain to mush.

Zatanna is still pissed at me for breaking up with her then coming to her for help with nothing in return for her.

I could call Barbara although she might not want to see me either I do not know.

"What did I do with my life?" I question as the blood grows bigger around me melting the snow as the reflection of someone I don't recognize anymore appears. I need to keep going the team did then so can I. I slowly got up as I dragged myself losing energy as blood falls in larger amounts.

"Too bad I do not have a blood bag in my apartment." I slur a bit finally reaching inside my home.

Going to the first-aid kit was harder than I would imagine as my arms felt like Superman was holding them down with his mighty strength. Pulling out some gauzes to wrap my wound and some heavy duty bandages after taking my suit off and changing to basic sleeper pants and shirt.

I lay down in my bed as I could barely sleep with the terrible pain even with the painkillers I took. Watching the clock with anticipation for sleep was endless as the time of 3:00 am blared at me with a mocking matter. I might as well stay up being I have to face the team for another two and a half hours.

The time switching every minute was the longest moment it seemed like in my life as the pain throbbed with every second. Finally, I fell asleep, but the digital clock screamed at me an hour later with the time reading 5:00 am.

"Great." I mutter as I get up with great pain as I take a shower and get into a spare Nightwing costume being the one from last night is blood covered. Reaching the Zeta took me about five minutes as the almost white tinted sapphire transported me to the place I did not want to be at and feared to see.

"Recognized Nightwing B01"

God, I can just picture their shutters and glares as their laughing stops as my name rings out in the open.

"Hello." I mutter as I see my team in the living room as their sharp eyes boiling with hatred making me wish I was in a lucid dream to escape. Some of them like Tim, Barbara, Artemis, and Kaldur smile at me and says their own variation of hello.

"Took you awhile Chum." L'gann scowls coldly as his nickname for someone he despises appears. That name reminds me of Bruce when I was younger with him saying it in a term of affection but now hearing it as an insult hurts worse.

"L'gann!" Artemis scolds glaring heavily at him.

"What, I was just being friendly." He glares back.

"I am sorry to you all." I said with the most sincere apology tone I could muster only for someone to stop it out like stomping an already wilting rose.

"Sorry! How can you be sorry if you almost sent not only Artemis but all of us to our deaths?" You know what you are just like Batman the sake of the mission, ring any bells Nightwing? Wally yells only to get punched in the arm by Artemis.

"I went on my own Wally, and Nightwing saved us all!" She yelled as her eyes blazed with fury.

"Why do you aid traitors!" L'gann yelled at her as she glowered at him.

"Am I a traitor to you all then?" She asks as everyone looks at her either shocked or confused.

"No, I could not be mad at you these two mainly the leader here dragged you along with the plan." L'gann yelled back as Artemis looked even more infuriated.

"How the hell did you get that I-"

"Artemis, it is okay this is my fault." I step up my blue eyes shining behind the dark mask.

"Damn right!" Wally yells which really hurts.

"I never wanted to harm anyone of you, trust me." I say.

"Trust! How can we ever trust you again? News flash, trust goes both ways you never trusted the team even with your identity when we were younger!" Wally yelled some more.

"I trusted you, Wally! You knew my identity when I first started as Robin. I trusted you Wally so do not say I never did. Remember our talk about Haly's Circus after that mission!" I yell back as my voice fades a bit.

Wally looks a bit guilty for a second before turning back to anger.

"Yeah, but do you remember how you led the team there lying to them about the whole mission just for your greed!"

"Sorry, I wanted to save the people I thought of as a family!" The match grew stronger now just between Wally and me, brother against brother.

"Why don't you go join them! You couldn't save them, and you could not save Jason!" Wally yells instantly regretting his words realizing he went too far referring to dying like my parents.

The space becomes silent as I look down in defeat.

"Maybe I should." I say with so much sadness it hurts.

"No!" Wally yells grabbing my arm before I could leave back to Bludhaven. As he jerked me back I had to stop a shout of pain as I can feel my wound opening once again.

"I did not mean that I see you as a brother Wing!" He shouts at me with unshed tears I forgive him right away.

"I know." I say smiling a bit with a slight slur that only some notices.

I lost a lot of blood last night and with no transfusion the blood loss gets to me faster than ever as I grow dizzy. Before I could hit the hard ground Wally catches me as my vision blurs.

"No do not fall asleep!" The world seems to shake me as I feel a sticky substance grow to like it did last night.

"Please." Is the last pitiful thing I heard from the speedster as my vision filled with the inky color.


End file.
